she got a pussy like the grand canyon
dry and sandy
possibly filled with dead bodies
Includes approximately 70 species of mammals, 250 species of birds, 25 types of reptiles and five species of amphibians
a popular tourist site
Everyone goes there and comes away feeling vaguely unsatisfied with the entire experience
(via orgasmic-humor)
i’m never going to forgive jamie lynn spears for getting pregnant and ruining zoey 101
(via sleepingwithdildos)
“According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings condemning them to spend their lives in search for their other halves.”
~Plato’s The Symposium.
This is just legitimately sad.
and this is why i’ll never meet my circle.
i’m guessing it’s on another country or even continent
(Source: eternalseptember, via field-hockey-babee)
when i’m married my partner and i will have:
- morning sex
- afternoon sex
- dinner sex
- after meal sex
- i made pancakes sex
- good morning sex
- they kids are at school sex
- shower sex
- bored sex
- make up sex
- break up sex
- obama won sex
- romney lost sex
- monday sex
- tuesday sex
- wednesday sex
- thursday sex
- friday sex
- saturday sex
- monday sex
- there is nothing on tv sex
- i love you sex
what about sunday
sunday is the lord’s day praise jesus
(Source: joesphjonas, via awkward-disaster)
